Troys FanFiction Story: Final

Hail Mighty Reader.

As you know my first attempt at writing this story came to about 4500 words. Honestly I tried to cut it down but I could never get it to be something that I felt I could be proud of or that contained the true essence of the story. So I did this new one. Truth be told this story is more of an epilogue to the original than a stand-alone but I hope that is okay.

Thanks to Everyone who commented. Your advice has been instrumental in putting this together.

Harry Dresden - Harry is a wizard who works as a private investigator of sorts in Chicago (he’s in the phone book, the only listing under “Wizards”), dealing with paranormal crimes and consulting for the Chicago Police Department.

Bob - Bob is an air spirit of intellect who resides in a human skull owned by Harry. Bob is a massive repository of magical knowledge, in to which he allows Harry to tap between wisecracks and attempts to be allowed out of his skull.

If you are confused at all read my original story HERE

If your confused about Dresden Click HERE

If you want to learn more about Jim Click HERE

"The Reasons Why" by Troy Jones

“Wake up Bob. Time to go to work.” I tapped the end of my pencil against the top of the white skull on the shelf in my laboratory. “I need your help figuring this out.”

Orange dots appeared in the eye sockets of the skull. Slowly it swivelled to face me as I begin pulling books off the other shelves and setting them up on the centre table.

“Do you know what time it is boss?” Bob asked sleepily. “Its barely dusk and you want me to wake up now. Give me a five minute snooze and play the alarm again,” and with that the orange dots went back out.

“No Bob wake up now. This is important and I need your help.” I threw the pencil and bounced it off the top of the skull and the orange orbs flashed back into brilliance as my spirit of intellect awoke to possess his receptacle.

“Fine, whatever. Never am I ever appreciated around here.” Bob began his usual grumbling but I knew he was up and ready to go. “So what is it this time? More movie monsters or do we finally get something fun like Nymphs. I do like a good Nymph or two.”

“Nope,” I answered, “I just came up against the Big Bad Wolf or one of his ugly cousins.”

Bob made a whistling sound, which I always find strange as he has no lips. “The Big Bad Wolf did you say? As in the one from all those fairy stories?”

I looked at him thoughtfully for a moment. “I think so. It made out like it was and played the creepy card way over the top”

“So what happened?” Bob asked.

I proceed to tell him about the events that took place that day. Bob was already aware of the missing Rogers family as he had help put together the tracking spell that had led me to Murphy’s house. So I told him about entering the house and seeing the wolf on the bed disguised as Murphy. I told him about the creepy dialogue play we had done and seeing the creature’s true form in the dresser mirror.

“Conjoined objects,” Bob pronounced after I told him.

The way he explained it was, that the same craftsmen had built each dresser at the same time with the same materials. As such there was a sympathetic link between the two that had allowed the wolf to pass from the one at the Rogers to the other at Murphy’s house, bypassing her threshold but leaving a residue of its true form.

I told him about the fight and the part about disembowelling the wolf and pulling the Rogers out had garnished a murmur of astonishment. I told him about tricking the creature and sending it back into Fairy and then getting a nasty surprise as he came back through that same doorway. I ended the tale on Murphy standing outside with her gun, a red mass where the wolfs head had been and me laying there looking up at her as if seeing an angel with a halo around her. By the end of the tale Bob was laughing his skull off.

“So you are trying to tell me,” he said between chuckles “That you just got your ass handed to you by a fairy tale.” His skull rolled around his shelf as he carried on laughing.

“Stars and stones Bob, you didn’t see this thing,” I growled “It was frickin deadly.”

“And,” Bob carried on as if not even hearing me “You got cast as Red Riding Hood with Murphy saving you from the big doggie.” Bob was laughing so hard he nearly rolled off his shelf.

I grabbed the ball-peen hammer I kept by my table and took a few practice swings. I got a steady rhythm up and advanced on the skull. Bob gulped (how can you gulp when you have no throat?) and an edged of fear crept into his voice.

“Look boss,” he said, “There is no need to do something drastic that can’t be undone. You can put the hammer down now.”

I glared at him. “Then if I were you I would get to telling me everything you know about these creatures. It might just stop me smashing your skull Bob.”

“Right,” Bob replied quickly and began listing his sentences in a short rapid rate as if reading off a checklist “’The Big Bad Wolf’, well it’s a creature of Fairy. Or more specifically Winter. Was one of Mab’s top enforcers. There were generally good in a fight. They were used when Mab needed to storm into an enemy’s stronghold and well,“ Bob began to trail off “that’s when things would go horrible wrong for them.”

“Wrong? How so?” I asked, my anger having subsided.

“Just like in the fairy tales they were easily tricked.” Bob instructed “Mab after repeated failures became infuriated with them, especially after humans stop fearing them. Mab saw no need in keeping them around and banished them to the outer edge of her realm. Most now consider them to be wild Fay.”

“So then why attack Murphy?”

“Oh that’s simple. They want to win back favour with Mab and this has given them the perfect situation to do so.”

“What situation? Our attack on Arctis Tor”

“I was meaning more the retelling of the fairy tale itself. All the elements were there. A blonde girl.” I looked sharply at Bob. “A blonde women then,” He corrected himself, “Her Grandmother’s house, and a nearby hunter.” Bob looked at me as if it should have been plainly obvious.

I shrugged, “What does all that mean?”

“Fairies like them have to follow specific patterns and the two of you fulfilled all the requirements they needed. It was a prefect setup giving them a perfect opportunity to try and prove their services to Mab. By bringing one of the people that helped attack Arctis Tor to the Winter Queen they could prove they weren’t screw-ups and win back her favour.”

“It didn’t pay off.” I said. “They still lost”

“Exactly,” said Bob “Patterns are rarely broken. Theirs, not for several centuries.”

“So do I have to worry about more coming back”?

“I wouldn’t think so,” said Bob thoughtfully. “But to be safe we will put up a protection spell at Murphy’s place to repair the gaping hole you’ve left there. It’ll at least stop them getting in again that way”

Bob and I spent the next several hours working in my lab piecing together the parts of the spell I was going to use to properly close the open doorway.

Fairy tales are real? I shouldn’t be surprised really, I mean I’ve ridden a dinosaur.

Posted at 2205 on the 19 August 2011

Minchi's Fanfiction

                       If you would like to know more about Supernatural click here

                           If you would like to know more about Dean click here
                              If you would like to know more about Castiel here

I Did It All For You

The song “Still I Am Alone” was playing in the Impala, wind caressing Dean’s face. The night was dark without any stars and moon. Dean had been driving for a while and there was no motel since he left the last town.

It was a chilly, quiet night. The cold air would make people rather stay at home by their cosy fire than hang out in the street. The pub was on the corner of “Shortland Street”, its neon lights blinking weakly. It was hard to see the sign  "Hell” as the colour seemed faded. The record machine was playing “Still I Am Alone”. There were a couple who looked like lovers chatting in the corner. There were three people playing darts in the game area and a few people were playing pool, their cigarettes adding to the smoke hanging heavily in the air over the pool tables. It was just like an ordinary pub in the countryside.

“Ha!” The inconspicuous light caught Dean’s eye while he drove through the little town. He reversed the Impala hastily and parked in front of the pub. He couldn’t wait to have a drink and rest.

Dean stepped into the pub. The strong damp and filthy smell caught Dean’s senses.

“Yuck! What’s that smell!” Dean wrinkled his nose with disgust. He felt uneasy but he needed a drink!!

 “Give me a whiskey. Make it a double!!” Dean said to the barman who was chatting to a blond beauty. 

The barman nodded his head. The blonde gave Dean a very sweet smile. “What a babe!”  Dean thought and gave her a wink.


The barman placed the whisky in front of Dean with a weird expression on his face.

” Here’s your double, sir!.”

 “Fuck, fuck all this supernatural stuff...” muttered Dean, gulping down the shot. He was thirsty and tired.

“One more!!”

 Dean tapped the bar table without looking up. How could this happen? He had been very careful. Dean stared at the glass and tried to figure out what went wrong.

“ Ha Ha Ha…!!” The blonde ‘s squeaky laughter interrupted Dean’s thoughts. The high pitched laughter made Dean shiver.  He shook his head trying to get the thoughts out of his mind.

A cockroach was slowly crawling towards to Dean’s glass, Dean squashed it with disgust, then flicked it away. Another one, no, two, three..

 “What the hell…” Dean groaned.

“ Hey handsome! Are you alright?” The blonde beauty said with a graceful voice.

“This pub needs some cleaning up, don’t you think?” Dean stamped more cockroaches which were wandering around his feet.

There was a smirk on her face.

“Mmm..” The blonde leaned forward to kiss Dean.

Dean smiled. They kissed. Then he noticed something in his mouth.

“Hold..Hold..” Dean pushed the blonde away from him.
“What the … “ Dean spat.

A cockroach!!

Dean felt sick.

He was stunned with what he saw next.


Cockroaches were crawling out from her mouth, eyes, nose.. and started to surround Dean rapidly.

“Fuck!!” exclaimed Dean.

Dean looked around the pub trying to get some help. What surprised Dean was, the cockroaches had flowed over people but they seemed not mind, still chatting, drinking and playing.

 “Crazy bastards! Can’t I just have some peace and quiet? Well, that’s something you don’t see everyday.” Dean shook his head and shrugged.

 He tried to flick them, slam them, crush them, squeeze them, punch them. He used most every way to get rid of them but he failed. The cockroaches seemed unstoppable!

“You are mine, he he he…” the creepy voice made Dean shiver more.

While he was struggling, the door suddenly burst open. Castiel stormed in, stepped on some cockroaches, making crunchy sounds as he crossed the room towards Dean.

“Just need some help here.” Dean was pleased to see Castiel.

Castiel looked at the blonde a second, then pushed her away from Dean.

He grabbed Dean’s chest and slammed him against the wall.

“What the hell…”

It happened too fast. Dean didn’t have a second to react to what was going on.

Castiel’s fist came down heavily. Dean’s face ached. He could feel blood come out from his corner of his mouth.

The hard punch made Castiel puff. The anger, sadness and disappointment were in his beautiful cold  blue eyes.

“You son of a bitch. I believed in you…” roared Castiel.

“How can you do this to me!!” Castiel bitterly stared at Dean.

“I did it all for you. I killed two angels. They were my brothers. I disobeyed my father. I destroyed my father’s trust. Now I am hunted. It’s all just for you!! How can you do this to me!! “ exclaimed Castiel.

“Hey man, calm down…” Dean stared at Castiel.

Castiel continued, “ You are the hero. I looked out for you all the time. I was there when you were sad. I was there when you were in danger. I was there when you were lost. I even brought you back from hell. ….” Tears rolled down Castiel’s face.

“Cas…” Dean looked at him with sympathy in his eyes. He noticed that the cockroaches had started climb on them.

“Cas..” Dean softened his voice and tried to comfort Castiel.

 “It’s not what you think, it’s just…”

 “ Just what??” Castiel interrupted Dean.

“Cas!!”

“Get me out of here and I will explain !” Dean commanded.

Castiel looked at Dean, his eyes filled with emotion.

Castiel grabbed Dean’s hand, heading to the front door.

“Hold on a sec. Who or what are they? What do they want me for ?”

“Cockroaches!! Food!!” Castiel said with a deadpan look.

New Draft of Troy's Fanfiction (18/08/2011)

This one is only a thousand words

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

If you are confused at all read my original story HERE

If your confused about Dresden Click HERE

If you want to learn more about Jim Click HERE

Otherwise enjoy

Still Untitled

“Wake up Bob. Time to go to work.” I tapped the end of my pencil against the top of the white skull on the shelf in my laboratory. “I need your help figuring this out.”

Orange dots appeared in the eye sockets of the skull. Slowly it swivelled to face me as I begin pulling things off the other shelves and setting them up on the centre table.

“Do you know what time it is boss?” Bob the Skull asked. “Its barely dusk and you want me to wake up now. Give me five minutes and play the alarm again.” With that the orange dots went out.

“No Bob, wake up now. This is important and I need your help.” I bounced the pencil again off the top of the skull and the orange orbs flashed back into brilliance.

“Fine, whatever. Never am I ever appreciated around here.” Bob began his usual grumbling but I knew he was up and ready to go. “ So what is it this time? More movie monsters or do we finally get something fun like Nymphs. I do like a good Nymph or two.”

“Nope,” I answered, “I just came up against the Big Bad Wolf, or one of his ugly cousins.”

Bob made put a whistling sound, which is always creepy, as he has no lips. “The Big Bad Wolf? As in the one from all those fairy stories?”

I looked at him thoughtfully for a moment “I think so. It made out like it was from Red Riding Hood and played the creepy card way over the top”

“So what happened?” Bob asked.

I proceed to tell him what had gone on that day. Bob was already aware of the missing Rogers family as he had help put together the tracking spell that had led me to Murphy’s house. I told him about entering the house and seeing the wolf there disguised as Murphy. I told him about the creepy dialogue play we had done and seeing it’s true form in the mirror.

“Conjoined objects” Bob had called it. The way he explained it was, that the same craftsmen, had built each dresser at the same time, with the same materials. As such there was a link between the two that the wolf had played on allowing him to pass through to Murphy’s house and bypassing her threshold.

I told him about the fight between us, disembowelling the wolf, and pulling the Rogers out. I told him about the kicking his ass back into Fairy through a way and then getting my ass kicked as he came back. I ended the tale on Murphy standing out side with her gun, a red mass where the wolfs head had been and me laying there looking up at her as if seeing an angel with a halo around her. And by the end of the tale Bob was laughing his skull off.

“So your telling me,” he said between chuckles “That you just got your ass handed to you by a fairy tale.” His skull rolled around his shelf as he carried on laughing.

“You didn’t see this thing Bob,” I growled “It was frickin deadly.”

“And,” Bob carried on as if not even hearing me “you got cast as the girl, with Murphy saving you from the big doggie.” Bob was laughing so hard he nearly rolled off his shelf.

I grabbed the ball-peen hammer I kept by my table and took a few practice swings. I got a steady rhythm up and advanced on the skull. Bob gulped (how can you gulp when you have no throat) and edged backwards.

“Look boss.” He said. I could hear the fear in his voice. “There is no need to do something drastic that can’t be undone. You can put the hammer down now.”

I glared at him. “If you want to stop me smashing you skull to bits Bob, then if I were you I would get to telling me everything you know about these creatures.”

“Right,” Bob replied quickly “’The Big Bad Wolf’, Well it’s a creature of Fairy. Or more specifically Winter. Was one of Mab’s top enforcers. There were all good in a fight, easily be able to fight there way to the end and that’s when things would go horrible wrong for them.”

“Wrong? How so?” I asked my anger have subsided.

“Just like in the fairy tales, once they thought they had won that would get complacent and became easily tricked.” Bob instructed “Mab, after repeated failures, became infuriated with them and after humans began to not fear them anymore saw no need in having them and banished them to the outer edge of Fairy. Most consider them wild Fay now.”

“So then why attack Murphy?”

“Oh that’s simple. They want to win favour back with Mab, and this has given them the perfect situation to try. A blonde girl.” I looked inquiringly at Bob. “A women then.” He corrected himself. “Her Grandmothers house, a nearby hunter.” Bob looked at me.

I shrugged “what does all that mean?”

“Fairies like them have to follow specific patterns and between you two, you fulfilled all the requirements they needed. It was a prefect setup and gave them a perfect opportunity to prove their services to Mab. By bringing one of the people that helped attack Arctis Tor to the Winter Queen, and proving they weren’t screw-up’s, all in an attempt to win back favour.”

“It didn’t pay off.” I said. “They still lost”

“Exactly.” Said Bob “Patterns are rarely broken. Theirs, not for several centuries.”

“So do I have to worry about more coming back”?

“I wouldn’t think so.” said Bob thoughtfully. “But to be safe we will put up a protection at Murphy’s, something to repair the hole you’ve left there. Stop them getting in that way at least.”

Bob and I spent the next several hours working in my lab piecing together the parts of the spell I was going to use to properly close The Way. Fairy tales are real? I shouldn’t be surprised really. I mean I had ridden a dinosaur before.

Che's FanFiction (Complete)

It's so hard to keep it under the word limit haha.
Ok so hopefully no loads of pre-reading this time. I'm just going to say simply that a justu is a ninja attack that uses chakra. And "Dattebayo," is Naruto's catch phrase in the manga/anime. He yells it ALL the time haha :)It doesn't have any real translation but in the English version they've made him say "Believe it!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------


Hinata Hyūga crouched low behind a bush. She concentrated on slowing her breathing to be as quiet as possible. Straining her ears she listened for the sound of approaching men. Birds were chirping, leaves were rustling in the gentle breeze and there were sounds of small animal life scuttling amongst the foliage. All normal forest sounds.

A very quiet crack sounded. Obviously these weren’t the most experienced of ninja.

“Byakugan,” Hinata whispered, activating her eyes.

Instantly it allowed her to see through the trees, scanning for sources of chakra. Cautiously and quietly she glanced around the forest. There, a hundred or so metres away were five approaching ninja, the ones that had ambushed her earlier. She allowed her eyes to zoom in and get a better look. None of the men wore any markings affiliating them with any hidden ninja village. But all of them had red bands around their huge muscled arms.

They were heading in her direction. Keeping low she scurried from tree to tree, setting up strings that would ignite exploding bombs should the men touch them. Quickly, before they were close enough to see her, she scurried up a tree out of sight.

They approached.

“She’s here,” the closest one growled. He tilted his face upwards and breathed in deeply. “I can smell her fear.”

A low chuckle rippled over the group. The man who had smelled her walked straight up to the tree she was hiding in. Hinata pressed herself harder against the trunk, scanning below her. He had missed her trip wire by inches. She flicked a throwing dagger at it with as much speed and force as she could muster in her current position. It cut through the wire with deadly precision, setting off the bomb at the foot of the tree. Splinters and debris sped through the air as it exploded through the trunk of the tree. The force of the explosion threw the men back, knocking several of them out. The tree toppled over, crashing to the ground.

Being prepared for it, Hinata was able to leap to the next tree and start sprinting away again. She wiped a scratch on her face where a splinter had pierced her.

“Only a little further to the border” she whispered to herself, running towards her village.

She concentrated on keeping the chakra flow to her eyes, constantly scanning the surrounding forest for more rogue ninja. She saw movement to her left and spun to face it. Several large men were running towards her. They weren’t the same ones from before, but they had the same red bands tied tightly around their arms. She turned to go another direction, but men were coming from that way too. She was surrounded. One by one the ninja stepped through the trees, leering down at her.

“Can I help you?” she asked quietly.

One of the men stepped forward. He was even larger then the rest, standing at almost twice her height. His bulging muscles seemed to make his clothes strain at the seams. He had no red band on his arm, but was wearing a red mask covering the bottom half of his face. She assumed he was the leader of this band of rogue ninja.

“We are the Matikotsu!” he cried, his booming voice echoing around the forest.

The men let out a cheer, waving their weapons menacingly in the air.

“We are a growing power,” he continued. “Soon we will be strong enough to become the sixth hidden ninja village. But first we need your eyes.”

“My eyes?!” she glanced frantically around, trying to see an escape.

“Your Hyūga family eyes,” he repeated, crossing the space toward her. “By replacing my own with them, and combining them with my chakra, I will become the greatest Ninja Village leader in history! I will see all, and rule all! Don’t worry little girl,” he said taking a step closer and lowering his voice. He smiled, “we’ll make this fast and painless for you.”

“Like hell you will!”

Tree’s transformed around them, turning into hundreds of Naruto’s. They flung themselves at the red-banded ninja. There were five Naruto’s for every rogue ninja. Quickly and efficiently, each group landed a succession of blows, rendering the ninja unconscious. The last group of Naruto’s formed a protective circle around Hinata.

“Don’t you dare lay a finger on my girlfriend!” Naruto yelled at the leader. He smiled back at Hinata as she gazed at him shyly from under her bangs.

The leader stepped forward, twirling a throwing dagger around his finger.

“You won’t take me down so easily boy,” he said simply. “You’ll need more then a few shadow clones. But if you ask nicely, I’ll take only her eyes and leave her alive for you. Just... blind,” he laughed.

“And if you ask nicely I’ll make sure I only mostly beat you to death,” Naruto blinked innocently at him.

The larger man sighed. “You asked for it boy.” His hands flicked quickly through some seals. “Blade of Wind Hurricane Justu!” he yelled, channeling his chakra.

A spinning vortex of blades formed beside him, quickly growing in size. It flew around the makeshift battlefield inhaling the shadow clones, slashing them violently before they disappeared in clouds of smoke. The red masked man stamped his foot and the vortex shrunk, disappearing. All that was left in the clearing was him, Hinata and several clones still standing protectively around her.

“Now which spiky-haired brat is the real one,” he said, taunting them. With deadly precision he flung daggers straight into the hearts of the last Naruto’s. Each one disappeared with a puff of smoke. He grinned maniacally and jumped forward at Hinata, holding a dagger to her throat.

“You left her here on her own, boy?” he called out, laughing. “Her eyes are mine!”

“Are they?” Hinata asked, matching his grin. “Rasengan Jutsu!”

Hinata turned and thrust the ball of concentrated chakra into his chest. He fell to the ground clutching the now bleeding hole in his stomach.

“I don’t understand,” he panted. “We’ve been trailing you for months! You shouldn’t know that jutsu!”

Hinata smiled. “She doesn't,” she said. “But I do.” Hinata transfigured in Naruto. “Hinata and I switched places back when her bomb went off,” he explained.

The real Hinata came out from behind a tree. Without hesitation, she tied up the leader’s hands.

“You’ll be coming back to the village with us,” she explained. “You’ll get to enjoy the hospitality of our interrogation squad.”

“DATTEBAYO!”

Isaac's Fanfic (completed)

For The Greater Good


Gellert came bursting through the door of his Godricks Hollow address. Breathless, he leaned against the wall for just a moment; then quickly, in a panicked state, sprinted up the staircase. Entering his bedroom Gellert looked 'round as if hoping to find the answers, a solution, amongst his scattered possessions. The events that just passed were still fresh in his mind. “What have I done?!” he shouted out, questioning the darkness.

What should he do now? Gellert questioned himself over and over. He was in shock, complete disbelief at what had just unfolded. Scattering parchment across the floor, Gellert cleared his bed. Sitting down he placed his gaunt face between his palms, running his fingers through his thin stringy hair now streaked with blood. How could Albus betray him like this? After the countless hours they spent together planning their new world order, and then he turns his back on it all for his brother?! That stupid boy! Why couldn't he have just stepped aside? Couldn't Aberforth see they would have made things better? With the magical word in charge, Ariana would no longer have to be hidden away in shame. Why couldn't Aberforth have seen the brilliance of Albus' and his plan? Then none of this would have happened.

Gellert's eyes were transfixed on the wall. That poor girl, he thought. She didn't deserve any of this. She didn't deserve to be hidden away in disgrace. She needn't have died. His mind in turmoil, Gellert couldn't help but replay the events of the evening.

“You can't expect to drag Ariana around with you!” Aberforth barked at Albus, “Who will care for her when you're too busy conquering the world?! Huh?! What happens when she becomes enraged in a fit?!”

“I shall take the best of care of Ariana, she will be no worse off than she is staying here. I would never place my own ambition before Ariana. Surely you would know that?” Albus answered sternly.

“You can't promise that Albus! You have no idea where your campaign will take you. Sure, you'll take care of her for a month or two. But as soon as you start receiving the praise you so desperately desire, she'll be put aside and forgotten. All you and him,” Aberforth glanced towards Gellert, “care about is your own glory! Or ‘the Greater Good’ as you call it.” Aberforth finished in a mocking tone.

This was the edge of the knife for Gellert, “Don't you dare scoff at us! You have no idea of the accomplishments we will achieve, boy! We'll put wizards are in charge, and when they are, no longer will your sister have to be tucked away in shame. Muggles will fear us, not the other way around! You stand in our way because you are jealous, jealous that you will never be a great wizard like Albus or I!”

“Gellert!” Albus warned.

“You're a pathetic excuse for a wizard!” Gellert finished, his eyes now flaring with rage. Who does Aberforth think he is? Gellert slid his hand inside his robes, grasping for his wand.

“You fool!” Aberforth stood his ground, “You are completely blinded by your own arrogance! I will not allow you to take Ariana on your twisted muggle-murdering campaign!”

Gellert smirked, “You think your word matters? You think your little speech will stop us?”

Aberforth growled with rage. Revealing his wand, he made his stance clear.

“Fool”, Gellert curled the word of his tongue.

Without faltering, Gellert screeched out the Cruciatus curse and watched with glee as Aberforth collapsed to the floor, screaming in agony.

“Gellert, NO!” Albus cried

Gellert screeched with laughter, ignoring all pleas from Albus. His laughter was choked when he was blasted across the room. Confused, Gellert scrambled up, smearing his bloodied nose across his sleeve. Albus, wand raised, stood guard over his whimpering brother. Enraged by this sudden betrayal, Gellert spat out an array of curses in Albus' direction.

The battle that transpired was nothing but a confused, blood soaked memory now. He still wasn't sure how it happened.

Amongst the exploding glass and barrage of spells flying in all directions, nothing else could be heard. He didn't hear her frightened screams from the basement bellow. He didn't hear her rushing up the stairs in panic. Gellert only just glimpsed Ariana's tear ridden face as she burst through the basement door. Then she was dead, struck by one of the countless curses sent thrashing round the room. Gellert could still see Ariana, eyes open, laying snow white upon the floor. It was then that he ran.

Swallowing the lump growing in his throat, Gellert raised himself up from the bed. Walking across the room, he picked up a leather rucksack and began packing. Rummaging through draws, pulling parchment off the walls, he slowly gathered the few possessions he would need for the journey ahead. Gellert knew Albus would never forgive him, not after…His thoughts trailed off. Glancing at a picture of Albus and himself laughing across a family lunch, Gellert tied the bounds of his pack. There was nothing left for him here now.

Che's Naruto FF Draft

Background

Characters:
Naruto Uzumaki
Hinata Hyuga


Words you might not know:
Hand Seals
Hidden Village
Kunai
Shadow Clone
Rasengan


Hinata Hyūga sped through the forest. She had been on a D-ranked mission, delivering a civilian to his village. It had been a days travel away, and he was only a farmer, so they had assigned just her.

Why then was she running for her life now? She paused, panting behind a tree trunk as poisoned kunai flew past.

“Byakugan,” she whispered, activating her eyes.

Cautiously she scanned the forest. There, a hundred or so metres away were five approaching ninja. None of them wore any markings affiliating them with any hidden ninja village. But all of the had red bands around their arms.

Quickly she set up traps before finding a place high up in a tree to hide.

They approached.

“She’s here,” the closest one growled. “I can smell her. I can smell her fear!”

A rumble of chuckle rippled over the group.

BOOM

The first exploding tag detonated throwing two men back.

One by one the rest exploded around the ninja. Hinata didn’t wait. She bolted as fast as she could, trees collapsing around her.

“Only a small distance to our border, you can do it,” she whispered to herself.

The sound of cursing and crashing alerted her that at least two of the ninja were still conscious and chasing. She spun, slamming her palm into the nearest one’s jaw. A few quick blows and she shut off his chakra flow.

The second man landed in front of her. He was much larger then his friends, towering above her. No wonder the exploding tags hadn’t phased him. They traded a few blows, sizing each other up.

“He hits hard, but is slow and predictable,” she thought to herself.

Within seconds she shut off his flow of chakra too, before rendering him unconscious. Scanning the forest, she glimpsed the other three staggering to their feet again. She took off, detonating more exploding tags around her. Smoke and flying wood obscured their view of her as she leaped from tree to tree.

“Just a bit further,” she said, lengthening her stride.

Abruptly she came to a halt. In front of her stood ten rogue ninja, all grinning wolfishly at her.

“How many of there are you?” she cried out, distressed. The other three ninja closed in behind her. A couple of them were nursing cuts and bruises.

What she took to be the leader stepped forward.

“We are the Matikotsu!” he cried.

The men let out a cheer.

“We are a growing power,” he continued. “Soon we will be strong enough to become the sixth hidden ninja village. But first we need your eyes.”

“My eyes?!” she glanced frantically around, trying to see an escape.

“Your Hyūga family eyes,” he repeated, crossing the space toward her. “Don’t worry, we’ll make this fast.”

“Like hell you will!”

Tree’s transformed around them, turning in hundreds of Naruto’s. They flung themselves at the red-banded ninja, quickly and efficiently taking them down. A few formed a protective circle around Hinata.

“Naruto!” she gasped. “How did you know?”

Nervously he scratched the back of his head. “I’ve been keeping on eye on you lately,” he chuckled. “I just wanted to make sure you made it to our big day!”

“You’ve been spying on me?”

“Keeping an eye on you! It’s different,” he insisted. “Ouch!” The clone who had been talking to her disappeared. Hinata looked around to see what had destroyed it.

The leader stepped forward, twirling a kunai around his finger.

“You won’t take me down so easily boy,” he hissed. “You’ll need more then a few shadow clones!”

His hands flicked quickly through some seals. “Blade of Wind Hurricane!” he yelled.

A giant spinning vortex of blades formed beside him, sucking in Naruto’s shadow clones. It quickly slashed them all to pieces, save a few standing protectively in front of Hinata.

“Now which spiky-haired brat is the real one,” he said, taunting them.

With deadly precision he flung daggers straight into the hearts of the last Naruto’s. Each one disappeared with a puff of smoke. He grinned manically and jumped forward at Hinata, holding a kunai to her throat.

“You left her here on her own, boy?” he called out, laughing. “Her eyes are all mine now!”

“Are they?” Hinata asked, matching his grin. “Rasengan!”

Hinata turned and thrust the jutsu into his chest. He fell to the ground clutching the now bleeding hole in his stomach.

“I don’t understand,” he panted. “We’ve been trailing you for months! You shouldn’t know that jutsu!”

Hinata smiled. “I don’t,” she said. “But I do,” she transfigured in Naruto. “Hinata and I switched places back when her exploding tags were splintering up the forest” he explained.

The real Hinata came out from behind a tree. Without hesitation, she tied up the leader’s hands.

“You’ll be coming back to the village with us,” she explained. “You’ll get to enjoy the hospitality of our interrogation squad.”

“And you,” Naruto said addressing Hinata, “can take a break from missions for the next week. I don’t want you missing our wedding!”

“But I like you saving me,” she teased.

“Like you needed saving!”

“That’s true. Why WERE you following me? I thought you were with Kakashi-Sensei on an A-Ranked mission.”

“We got back early” he chuckled. “I was on my way to meet you when I saw them waiting. I figured I may as well join in the fun.”

“It was pretty funny watching his face when he realised the Hinata in his arms was you!” she admitted.

“Hey!” the leader growled, lying on the ground. “Stop making fun of me, and take me to your damn interrogation squad! I’m bleeding to death here!”

Add they all lived happily ever after. Cept the bad guy, who died.

Isaac's Harry Potter FanFic [Draft]

For The Greater Good.

Gellert came bursting through the door of his Godricks Hollow address. Breathless, he leaned against the wall for just a moment; then quickly, in a panicked state, sprinted up the staircase. Entering his bedroom, Gellert looked ‘round as if hoping to find the answers, a solution, amongst his scattered possessions. The events that just passed still fresh in his mind. “What have I done?!” he shouted out, questioning the darkness.

What do I do? What do I do? Gellert thought over and over. He was in shock, complete disbelief at what had just unfolded. Scattering parchment across the floor, Gellert cleared his bed. Sitting down he placed his gaunt face between his palms, running his fingers through his thin stringy hair now streaked with blood. How could Albus betray him like this? After the countless hours they spent together planning their new world order; then he turns his back on it all for his brother?! That stupid boy! Why couldn’t he have just stepped aside? Couldn’t Aberforth see we would have made things better? With the magical word in charge; Ariana would no longer have to be hidden away in shame. Why couldn’t he have seen the brilliance of Albus’ and my plan? Then none of this would have happened.

Gellert’s eyes were transfixed on the wall. That poor girl, he thought. She didn’t deserve any of this. She didn’t deserve to be hidden away in disgrace. She needn’t have died. His mind in turmoil, Gellert drifted back to earlier in the evening.

“You can’t expect to drag Ariana around with you!” Aberforth barked at Albu, “Who will care for her when you’re too busy conquering the world?! Huh?! What happens she becomes enraged in a fit?!”

“I shall take the best of care of Ariana, she will be no worse of than she is staying here. I would never place my own ambition before Ariana.” Albus answered sternly.
“You can’t promise that Albus! You have no idea where your campaign will take you. Sure, you’ll take care for a month or two. But as soon as you start receiving the praise you so desperately desire, she’ll be put aside and forgotten. All you and him” Aberforth glanced towards Gellert, “care about I your own glory! Or ‘the Greater Good’ as you call it” Aberforth finished in a mock tone.

This was the edge of the knife for Gillert, “How dare you mock our goal! You have no idea of the accomplishments we will achieve, boy! When we are in charge, no longer will your sister have to be tucked away. The muggles will fear us, not the other way around! You stand in our way because you are jealous; jealous that you will never be a great wizard like Albus or I!”
“Gellert!” Albus begged.
“You’re a pathetic excuse for a wizard!” Gellert finished; his eyes now flaring with rage. Who does Aberforth think he is? Gellert slide his hand beneath his robes, grasping his wand.
“You fool! You are blinded by your own arrogance! I will not allow you to take Ariana on your sick muggle-murdering campaign!” Aberforth stood his ground.

Gellert smirked “you think your word matters? You think will top us?”
Aberforth revealed his wand, taking his stance.
“CRUCIO!” Gellert screamed as Aberforth fell to the floor in agony.
“Gellert no!” Albus cried.
Gellert screeched with laughter, ignoring all pleas from Albus.
“Please Gellert, stop!” Albus begged, but Gellert continued. Not knowing what was happening; Gellert was blasted to the ground by an unknown force. He looked up, smearing the blood from his nose across his sleeve, too she Albus, wand raised, standing in front of a whimpering Aberforth.
“Albus! Don’t do this! Don’t be a fool!” Gellert spat out.
“I can’t allow you to hurt my brother, Gellert” Albus replied, staring down at him with conviction.

Angered by this sudden twist of betrayal, Gellert swiftly raised his wand and sent an array of spells flying in Albus and Aberforth’s direction. He dived behind a cabinet, glass exploding around him as he did so. Aberforth was now up again, and entered into this three-way duel. Gellert scrambled to the other side of the kitchen, flinging stunning spells as he went. Ariana’s screams from the basement were barely even audible amongst the chaos upstairs. Gellert didn’t even hear her running up the stairs in panic. Ariana came screaming through the basement door. Before he even realized she was in the room, Ariana was lying dead on the floor; struck by one the the countless curses sent around the room.

Gellert rubbed his eyes. He couldn’t get the image of Ariana’s dead mangled body out of his head. the scream issued from Albus’ mouth still echoed. Gellert raised himself up from his bed, and began to gather his positions. Only what I need, he thought. Albus will never forgive me, not after….his thoughts trailed off. Gellert continued to round up belongings, there was nothing left for him in Godricks Hollow now. He must continue his quest for the greater good without Albus; without his friend.

Che's Draft 1 - Controlled.

Starting over completely, because I don't really want to cut the length of the first one down. If you want to read it, it's here http://fattybunny-che.blogspot.com/2011/08/sims-3-fanfiction.html

I'll have a new one posted here soon.

supernatural fanfiction

1. Disney

Dean and Castiel were gays watching Disney porn cartoons at motel. While they tried to do the love-making, Sam and Gabriel walked in and interrupted  them and teased them.

It’s a witty and interesting story which is easy to read and follow. Modern humour was implanted in the characters, it was something different. The dialogues has been well used to create  cheerful, cosy and playful scenes. The story line has been well established with good detail guiding the audience but lack of thrill tension and it is not convincing. 

2. The New God

Castiel wants to be the New God, convincing himself he is superior than others. He is willing to kill anyone who contradicts  him. He is also egotistical and the world would be better when he is the New God despite the fact he is no different than others.                                                   

The story has been well written with good detail illustrating the internal conflict of character. Repetitive language is used to convince the audience, eg. I am a new god, I am a better god.  It’s a story with good imagination catching the audience’s attention from the first line. It’s a thought – provoking story, making readers think what went through the character’s mind.

3.Birthday Troubles

It was a birthday surprise present for Dean although it was four days late.  Watching the Space Shuttle launch! After a cosy, warming pancake breakfast , John, Dean and Sam  went to see the Space Shuttle launch which turned out to be a disaster as the Space Shuttle exploded  while launching.

The writer used the baby language "I hepped", "Space sip", "fwying" to create a light, cheerful astomphere storyline but also composed the mood swing to the tragedy at the end . It was a provoking story which the writer used the Space Shuttle explosion at ending to express that life can't be predicted even if we try to have a normal family day out. The story line captured audience’s attention and encouraged them to read on. It was well told with good description and  imagination which I enjoyed reading . 

4.The price of love

After a day’s hunting with Sam’s mistaking “Bear” as “Dog”, Dean and Sam went to the bar. Dean had left his mobile phone at the Motel and when he turned back, a powerful speeding car tried to kill him.  Sam went to save him without thinking he might get killed.

 It was a  well paced and easy to follow story with detailed description. The writer used the dialogues to express the characters’ emotions.  It was well written with a good storyline, stimulating for the audience to read .

5.Fear

The year’s contract is due.  Dean is afraid he would leave Sam alone despite Sam still trying  to find a loophole in the contract to save his life. He is struggling with his fear as his life nears the end.

This story expressed Dean’s fear and emotions that went through his mind as his life nears the end  .  It symbolized  the character’s internal conflict with repetition of  “ I am scared Sam.", " Really scared." It’s a well paced and well described story. It was a vivid emotional description with perfect structure which would grab audiences'  emotions. I enjoyed reading it.

Che's FanFiction Reviews

I am writing a Sims 3 Fanfic. However as there are no other Sims 3 stories on fanfiction.net, I decided to pick stories to review based on the genre I am going to try and write. Especially as I have never written anything in this genre before. So these stories were found under suspense or horror.



Fighting Against Hope
A Harry Potter fanfiction

This is a brief story based in a world where there has been a 3 year long war between muggles and wizards. It is centred round Draco Malfoy and his coming to terms with muggles finding out about magic, and being able to use guns on wizards faster then wizards can mutter a spell.

I enjoyed reading this fanfic. The writer does a good job of describing Draco’s feelings while also letting us know what has been going on the last few years. She/he repeats a lot of the same kind of words to get across the kind of story it is, eg ‘ruthless’ ‘painful’ ‘alone’. I like how the author uses Draco’s surroundings as a metaphor or symbol of the emotions he’s going through as he replays memories in his head. And I liked most of all the moral at the end of the story when Luna walks in, that it’s important to keep hoping, and that old prejudices don’t matter. “Treasure every moment” because you never know when it might be your last. It wound up the story in quite a (although cliched) beautiful and touching way.




Deep End
A Blood + fanfiction


This fanfiction is written around the idea that Saya eventually succumbs to the blood lust inside her and goes on a killing spree, murdering even her closest companion and also her brother.

The writer of this fanfic does a good job describing the gore Saya issues and the fear that Kai feels. However I find none of it very believable based on the characters that I know from this anime. As much as Haji serves Saya, he would never stand there and let himself be killed just because she wants it.
I also wish that the author had taken the time to fill in the story some flash backs or had alluded to what had brought Saya to this point of manic killing. The story as it is has not enough depth to be entirely interesting on it’s own.







Movie Night Gone Wrong
An Ouran Highschool Host Club Fanfiction



This is a oneshot about the group from Ouran highschool getting together to watch a horror movie but instead watching, they find themselves in one.

I found this story incredibly hard to read for a few reasons. Firstly he/she has the text centred down the middle of the page. And secondly it seems to be a “and then and then” story. It has a lot of dialog so I can understand the tendency to easily slip into that, but any descriptive text also takes on that ‘and then’ form.
The author also uses a lot of words that are not really words like “nomming.” Although I feel that people should be free to write using the mannerisms they wish, I struggle to read it.
It is also poorly edited, with typos such as “adn” and there are a few parts where the story seems to have whole sentences missing so the conversation doesn’t make sense.
She/he did however state that it was their first ever try at writing a fanfiction. I have to give kudos to them for knowing where to put speech marks at least because it’s something I notice is missing in many fanfictions.
Over all though, it was impossible to enjoy reading.


Waiting
A Naruto Fanfic

This is a completely ulterior universe type fanfic where Sasuke is a vampire stalking his prey - Sakura. And in the end he kills her.

I enjoyed this story immensely. They writer has a wonderful way of describing everything with out making it boring. She doesn’t use any words she doesn’t have to. She is to the point. But the story still flows fantastically. This fanfic is well edited and somehow a perfect mix between horror and humor.
One thing going against it though is that, as she says herself, you wouldn’t know it was a Naruto fanfic if she hadn’t had put the name “Sasuke” at the start. It has nothing to do with the Naruto world or the characters we know. But it is still a great story, and I now look forward to going back and reading more of her work.







Just Like His Father
A Vampire Academy Fanfic

In the Vampire Academy series, Christian's parents turn themselves into strigoi, or 'bad vampires'. The series only briefly mentions it a few times. This fanfiction is all about what might have happened at the time. It starts off with his Aunt telling Christian his parents are dead. There is a bit of angst. Later his parents come back to get him so that he can join them as a strigoi. His Aunt then kills his parents.

There are many parts of the Vampire Academy series that I would have liked to have heard more of, and this was one of them. The author of this story covered what might have happened exactly the way I imagined it, so I enjoyed being able to read those events go down.
She/he didn’t however, have very good grammar. It distracted a little from the story. It was also very boring. She/he couldn’t quite delve far enough into how dramatic and emotional watching your parents turn evil, and then be killed would be for a teenager. Or for anyone. She wrote about, but it isn’t real enough, and it didn’t touch me as a reader. I found myself just waiting to get to the end of the story.

My Five Fan Fiction Reviews by TCJ

Beauty and the Beast

This fan fiction delves into the prologue of the ‘Beauty and the Beast’ story and attempts to explain the origins of how The Beast become to be. The story is told from several points of view, it begins with a messenger that had been sent to the king. Following this brief passage we move into the beginning and origins of the Witches’ story, explaining her reasons and methods for cursing The King and his family. The story moves the birth of The Beast and the shock it causes the entire castle culminating in a final confrontation between the King and the Witch.

This was written as a prologue and although brief, goes well into explaining the nature of the kingdom and the curse placed on the Royal Family. The pacing of the story I find enjoyable as it has been whittled down to only the essentials of the story. I like that as a baby The Beast is shown with a good temperament while The King is shown as being selfish and cruel. These are attitudes usually considered part of The Beast makeup giving the thought that the creature he becomes is in part caused by nurture and not nature. Another source of role reversal is that of The Witch. In most contexts is portrayed as being evil, while in this fan fiction it gives a noble sentiment to her actions. I like how this inverts the story slightly and giving it a new perspective on an old tale.

**Whoops. Sorry guys. Still new to this fanfiction.net site. I didn't realize there was more than just the prologue. Just to clarify, my review only covers prologue and not the entire story. Please forgive, and my next will cover the entire story.


Pas de Deux

This is a fluff short story set within The Dresden Files universe. It tells of an interaction between the lead character of the story Harry Dresden and one of his main supporting characters, Karrin Murphey. Their relationship is one of mutual friendship, with the prospect of maybe something more someday. A Wandering Minstrel's story covers a small interaction between these two characters when one is in a different getup then they otherwise would wear. Karrin having just come from a formal police event and in a dress, stops by Harry's to drop of his latest police consultants fee.

When I first read this story I felt the need to rip it to shreds based on the inaccuracies it shows of the author's knowledge of the source material. A simple thing such as Harry was an orphan from the age of six. He had no uncle and his mother died in child birth. This would never have allowed some of the things that was said to be possible. Murphy's description of her college's and the way they would view her goes against type that Jim Butcher set up with this verse. As an avid fan of the series I wanted to tear into this story and demolish it.

I stopped and calmed down and forced myself to step back and re-read it again. Once this was done I could see the story for what it was. A cute and 'fluff' piece done showing a new side to the characters relationship. Written within the same style, and tone that you would find in any of the novels. The story, when taken in that context was a welcome and could be forgive for the inaccuracies it showed. I did end up enjoying the work and felt that in all it was a enjoyable look into a rare quiet day within the characters lives.


True Beauty: The Retelling of Rapunzel

Rapunzel, is the story of a young girl given up at birth as payment to an enchantress for sparing her father’s life, after he has been found stealing from the enchantress’s garden. Raised by the Enchantress she is trapped in a tower from the age of twelve until rescued by a prince.

BittersweetHearts08 telling of this tale comes from the perspective of Rapunzel herself. In this telling it is known by most how to get Rapunzel’s tower and the pass phrase that allows Rapunzel to let down her hair. With many men coming to her “rescue” Rapunzel would play out the role expected of her. Rapunzel laments on the repetitiveness of her life and the boredom and stupidity of the man that come to rescue her. All only interested in the beauty of her features, and not caring for Rapunzel herself. This leads to the idea that if rescued she would be a trophy. One to be shown and paraded with no thought or care to her own needs. When one prince almost succeeds Rapunzel has had enough and with a final act defiance, she berates they would-be savoir and cast him off by cutting her hair herself thus trapping herself in the tower but teaching the world that beauty is more than being skin deep.

While in itself I did enjoy reading the piece I didn’t like the overall message to me it displayed. While Rapunzel was well constructed the males in the world were treated as vapid, one-dimensional fools. I find it hard to believe that anyplace that has ‘How to Charm Ladies 101’ would not teach that women are more than facial beauty. I felt that it should have been explored why if she did have scissors all this time, she had never cut off her hair before or tried to escape and live her own life. She was as much a part of the problem as the princes. Also with no hair, how does she get food or water or any provisions up into her tower?


All That Glitters

In the end of book six of The Dresden Files, Harry not only finds out he has a brother but gets him as a roommate. This changes his lifestyle from one of solitary to a more domesticated one. The next book jumps a year in their future with never truly covering the adjustment period of the two. All That Glitters by Lyra Ngalia shows one aspect of this adjustment period. In Lyra's story, Harry and Thomas have come home after Harry found his brother half naked feeding off the psychic energy of women in a alleyway during the act of sex. Most disturbing, was the fact Thomas was covered in glitter. We learn that Thomas was disguising himself as a vampire from the 'Twilight' novels as a ruse to seduce his victims.

I loved this story, for not only poking a bit of fun at the 'Twilight' series but for allowing it to show the foolishness of people in the Dresden Verse as being almost as silly as the ones in our own. I liked that this was in very general terms a crossover piece. Allowing the author to bring one fictional series into another while keeping true to both and not allowing the story to devolve into too much folly. By keeping the idea of 'Twilight' as books also helpd with keeping a sense of realisum to the peice.

The start of the story was a little confusing as it didn't make too much sense until I had completed the story. I thought that the initial set up of the story could have been done better as to begin with I had no idea where we were or what had just happened. After a time it did pick up its pacing and revel itself into a wonderful little gem of a story. All in all I was quiet impressed and would like to read more from this author.


Not So Little Red Riding Hood

This is a retelling of the Little Red Riding Hood stories. This version is one of the funniest that I have read. It combines elements of both innocence and maturity into the tale. This gives such a simple story added dimensions, allowing the reader to enjoy Chibi Koneko's version of this tale on multiple levels. This is demonstrated well with the idea that the Grandpa is not only physically sick, but also 'sick' in the sense that he is an embodiment of the 'Dirty Old Man' stereotype.

The tale begins as standard but soon the changes are well noticed further we get into the story. The first change we notice is that Red Riding Hood in now “twenty-three years old” but still has the intelligence of a younger girl. This can be shown in her lack of fear of the 'Son of The Big Bad Wolf' and continual use of "kitty" to describe him. We learn also tale that this tale is modernized somewhat and set within the last 120 years. This time frame can be claimed as cars have only been mass produced since 1902 (according to Wikipedia). Another big shift is the gender bases for two of the characters. This has allowed the author to switch the usual Grandma role into a
Grandpa and make the Huntsman into a “Hunts(wo)man”.

In my opinion I found this Fan Fiction story very humorous and well crafted. There was a natural flow to the writing with enough narrative to allow me to visualize the piece clearly in my imagination. The story did make me 'laugh out loud' at certain points with a series of running jokes well placed throughout the story. These included the idea of the Wolf being called or referred to as 'kitty' by all characters, Red as being simple or naive, and Grandpa's sickness having multiple meanings.