Che's FanFiction Reviews

I am writing a Sims 3 Fanfic. However as there are no other Sims 3 stories on fanfiction.net, I decided to pick stories to review based on the genre I am going to try and write. Especially as I have never written anything in this genre before. So these stories were found under suspense or horror.



Fighting Against Hope
A Harry Potter fanfiction

This is a brief story based in a world where there has been a 3 year long war between muggles and wizards. It is centred round Draco Malfoy and his coming to terms with muggles finding out about magic, and being able to use guns on wizards faster then wizards can mutter a spell.

I enjoyed reading this fanfic. The writer does a good job of describing Draco’s feelings while also letting us know what has been going on the last few years. She/he repeats a lot of the same kind of words to get across the kind of story it is, eg ‘ruthless’ ‘painful’ ‘alone’. I like how the author uses Draco’s surroundings as a metaphor or symbol of the emotions he’s going through as he replays memories in his head. And I liked most of all the moral at the end of the story when Luna walks in, that it’s important to keep hoping, and that old prejudices don’t matter. “Treasure every moment” because you never know when it might be your last. It wound up the story in quite a (although cliched) beautiful and touching way.




Deep End
A Blood + fanfiction


This fanfiction is written around the idea that Saya eventually succumbs to the blood lust inside her and goes on a killing spree, murdering even her closest companion and also her brother.

The writer of this fanfic does a good job describing the gore Saya issues and the fear that Kai feels. However I find none of it very believable based on the characters that I know from this anime. As much as Haji serves Saya, he would never stand there and let himself be killed just because she wants it.
I also wish that the author had taken the time to fill in the story some flash backs or had alluded to what had brought Saya to this point of manic killing. The story as it is has not enough depth to be entirely interesting on it’s own.







Movie Night Gone Wrong
An Ouran Highschool Host Club Fanfiction



This is a oneshot about the group from Ouran highschool getting together to watch a horror movie but instead watching, they find themselves in one.

I found this story incredibly hard to read for a few reasons. Firstly he/she has the text centred down the middle of the page. And secondly it seems to be a “and then and then” story. It has a lot of dialog so I can understand the tendency to easily slip into that, but any descriptive text also takes on that ‘and then’ form.
The author also uses a lot of words that are not really words like “nomming.” Although I feel that people should be free to write using the mannerisms they wish, I struggle to read it.
It is also poorly edited, with typos such as “adn” and there are a few parts where the story seems to have whole sentences missing so the conversation doesn’t make sense.
She/he did however state that it was their first ever try at writing a fanfiction. I have to give kudos to them for knowing where to put speech marks at least because it’s something I notice is missing in many fanfictions.
Over all though, it was impossible to enjoy reading.


Waiting
A Naruto Fanfic

This is a completely ulterior universe type fanfic where Sasuke is a vampire stalking his prey - Sakura. And in the end he kills her.

I enjoyed this story immensely. They writer has a wonderful way of describing everything with out making it boring. She doesn’t use any words she doesn’t have to. She is to the point. But the story still flows fantastically. This fanfic is well edited and somehow a perfect mix between horror and humor.
One thing going against it though is that, as she says herself, you wouldn’t know it was a Naruto fanfic if she hadn’t had put the name “Sasuke” at the start. It has nothing to do with the Naruto world or the characters we know. But it is still a great story, and I now look forward to going back and reading more of her work.







Just Like His Father
A Vampire Academy Fanfic

In the Vampire Academy series, Christian's parents turn themselves into strigoi, or 'bad vampires'. The series only briefly mentions it a few times. This fanfiction is all about what might have happened at the time. It starts off with his Aunt telling Christian his parents are dead. There is a bit of angst. Later his parents come back to get him so that he can join them as a strigoi. His Aunt then kills his parents.

There are many parts of the Vampire Academy series that I would have liked to have heard more of, and this was one of them. The author of this story covered what might have happened exactly the way I imagined it, so I enjoyed being able to read those events go down.
She/he didn’t however, have very good grammar. It distracted a little from the story. It was also very boring. She/he couldn’t quite delve far enough into how dramatic and emotional watching your parents turn evil, and then be killed would be for a teenager. Or for anyone. She wrote about, but it isn’t real enough, and it didn’t touch me as a reader. I found myself just waiting to get to the end of the story.